Form beyond shape... Hippo over head!

Clado: Let's talk about a popular topic.

Ana: Okay? Popular topic! Done.

Clado: Any guesses!?

Ana: Umm... Yours very dear, Narendra Modi!

Clado: Why does that come here again? Okay, let me say, popular 'thing'.

Ana: Earrrrrings!

Clado: Noooo, that's just for women.

Ana: Alright, no guesses!

Clado: Alright, we'll talk about a thing that has form beyond shape. Yay!

Ana: This is too much. Say. Or don't say.

Clado: Smartphone, that's the most popular thinnnng!

Ana: You've broken your phone?!

Clado: Actually, I've just come across one which has form beyond shape.

Ana: What's that?!

Clado: I mean, a smartphone which has form beyond shape. Oppo smart phone! Dhan tannaaaan!

Ana: Hippo over my head. Let's get back to work!

More Sensual Pleasure / Km Ridden

Idling at a traffic signal...

Ana: How much noise!

Clado: It's noise?! It's not!

Ana: I just don't like it. Too much.

Clado: It's called 'phatphati'! Not for no reason.

Ana: But I don't like it.

Clado: Some time back, remember, I took you for a good long ride on a Bullet? That you didn't mind, huh?!

Ana: That was different.

Clado: Aahaaaa!
...

Clado: Look, I have a theory for this.
...

Clado: For most riders, it's the throbbing sensation under the butt that works!

Ana: Yuckkkk! I don't want to hear this.

Clado: Arre, I am serious! Okay, answer this. Can a machine make music?

Ana: Ummmmm yes in a way, yes!

Clado: That's what! Bullet makes music. That's my theory. The phat-phat or whatever we call is just like beats. Within a certain speed-range, it's a pleasing rhythm for riders. But go beyond a speed and you might not like it.
...

Clado: In fact, while I see a lot of riders rip Bullets for speed, I think a Bullet is an 'anti-speeding bike'. And that's the charm. Chug along nicely with the beats and the wind.
...

Ana: Hmm...
...

Clado: And the roads and the things lining these roads can best be enjoyed when the speed is within a limit. Bullet does that. Makes music. Rides great within a limit.
...

Ana: Okay, anyway, I don't like it that loud. Can we talk something else? Write this thesis when you go home.

Stereo-SEDAN-Type | brand extension to car extension

Ana: Yuckkkk!

Clado: What happened?
(In a fraction of a second, glances around)

Clado: Okay, I know.
(Chuckles)

Ana: How do they manage to do such things?

Clado: Ha ha! Economics. Or call it a politico-economic phenomenon.

Ana: What politico-economic?!?! Where does politics come in here?

Clado:  Okay, let me not explain it right now. But I am surprised, how do they digest such things in the first place? And invest? And people buy also!

Ana: People see that sedan-like-extension and say, "Wow, badi gaadi!"

Clado: Sastey mein sedan mil gayi!
...

Clado: And you know Swift Dzire sells like hot-cakes!?!

Ana: I hate that shape! Par kya hai Maruti hai toh sab chalta hai!

Clado: Tata started the rot. Other car-makers follow suit. Maruti wins. Rotten races also have winners after all.
(Grinnnns!)

Ana: Pattttheticcc!

Image Sources:
First Image
Second Image
Third Image

What's the problem with El Nano?

"Clado, you read this?"

"Read what!?"

"It says 'Tata shuts Nano plant in Gujarat for 35 to 40 days as inventory piles up on low demand'!"

"Hmm... Am I surprised! Sometime back I remember Ratan Tata said he regretted calling it the 'cheapest car'."

"But I like it."

"Even I like it. Actually, I like it when it's stationary."

Ana chuckles... "Funny you are."

"No, really! I wonder why is it so difficult for these Tata guys to see what we see. That car, when it's running on the road, feels like it's gonna break apart in 1000 pieces. It rattles like crazy! It just feels so unpredictable."

"Yeaaaah!"

"To my mind, it isn't the branding or this or that. To call it 'cheapest' might not be great promotion, but Nano doesn't sell coz its engine-build feels, not just 'cheapest', but also really inferior and unreliable. It feels worse than the earlier Bullet."

"Huh! What a comparo! You can't do that!"

"But seriously, Nano rattles. Audibly and literally!"

It's for you and your Mom... From Mahindra Retail

Clado: Who's 'me' here?
...
Clado: Of course, a kid.
...
Clado: So the kid is saying, 'this is for Mommy and me'.
Ana: They have good stuff. I thought it was a children's store. But they have stuff for women of all ages.
Clado: Same here. Always thought it was a children's store.
...
Clado: May be they think it's easier to get women to walk in on the pretext of checking out kids' stuff, and then as a surprise, buy for themselves too since the stuff is good, as you point out.
Ana: Yeah, I was surprised.
Clado: But then, if what I say holds, only women with really small kids would walk in. A woman without kids, what would she sense? She doesn't get the idea instantly, I'm sure.
...
Clado: Anyway, is the retail store a rugged one?
Ana: What! Rugged?!?!

Quanto slated for dustbino?

Ana (pointing towards the car that just passed by in the opposite direction): Waaaw! I just saw an ugly beast!
Clado (focussing on handling his bike on a busy road): What beast!
Ana: Yaaaa, uglier than any beast!
Clado lost in thought about such a demeaning comparison with animals. Few seconds later...
Clado: What did you see? 
Ana: Some Mahindra vehicle, I guess.
Clado: Xylo?
Ana: Not quite, but Mahindra.
Clado: Ooooh, you are talking about that... Quanto!
Ana: Gawd! Don't they think before launching!?
Clado: About what?
Ana: About whether it looks good or not, what else!
Clado: Ha ha! You've checked their bikes?
Knowing her answer, he continues...
Clado: Mahindra thinks Quanto will work because the grill looks like Scorpio's and Scorpio is a super-hit.
Ana: That's not right.
Clado: No, really! And since Quanto is shown as an SUV, I mean compact-SUV, Mahindra thinks Scorpio will come to mean the real SUV.
Ana's not listening now. Clado rambles on.
Clado: Mahindra had such a chance to dominate the category having taken the lead...

Maruti Suzuki continues to redefine the hatchback/small-car category

Clado: They are at it, yet again!
Ana: Who? What?
Clado: Marrrrr-uttttti!
Ana: I am sure, they have come out with yet another odd-looking thing!
Clado chuckles.
Clado: They've just introduced a new car! They call it Celerio! And they have just introduced an automatic gear-shift in a small car. That too at a price-tag of 4 lacs!
Ana: Means no need to change gears? Kinetic for cars, you mean!
Clado: Not that lady! You have to move the gear-shift but without even half the trouble in a regular car.
Ana: Means?
Clado: No clutching. Just moving the gear-stick.
Ana: That saves my legs then!
Few seconds pass...
Clado: I just think they could've done better.
Ana: Right! Why don't you go and make cars for them?!
Clado: Don't be nasty! What I mean is they could've made it easier for people to get the idea.
Pause of a few seconds.
Clado: They write CELERIO. Then, LIFE TAKES A LEAP. Then, DRIVE EASY. Then, EZDRIVE. Then add, AUTO GEAR SHIFT. Could it simply have been CELERIO AUTOMATIC AUTOMAGIC? Better, MAGIC AUTOMATIC?
Ana: Hmm... That's alright. They need to explain.
Clado: But what if you can feel the magic in just the first two gears, before even you hit the 5th or 6th?
Ana: Why don't you go join their agency?
Clado: Yeah, right!

Three cocky men, one cocky conversation

Ana: Clado? Look, modern-age Tarzans!
Clado: Tarzan would eat that creature up!
Ana: How gastronomic!
Clado: Hey, seriously, what about the target audience for this one? The guys seem to be talking to each other and having fun in this Tarzan-like avatar. Chuckles
Ana: Gaaaaays!!!
Clado: Laughs out loud. Hmmmm, possible.
Few seconds later...
Clado: I suppose typically women buy inners for men, no?
Ana: Hmmm...
...
Clado: Btw, these guys have become stars... Six-packs, beefy arms, shapely legs! Look so cockeasy!
Ana: What! Cockeasy?!?! No Nooooo!.... Cockstars?!
Clado: Laughs out loud
Ana: Mmmmm... Cockkkkk... roaches sounds better!

Balanced Schooling

Ana: Clado, that pile of books!
Clado: It's a tall one. Big thick books.
Ana: Can you balance with all those on your head?
Clado: My head!?!?
Ana: They are talking about balancing no!
Clado isn't amused! Ana goes on...
Ana: And balancing books on your head would be a lot of fun with basketball in your hands and footballs at your feet! Eyes glued to the microscope!
Clado: Stop it. You don't handle all together.
Ana: You are made to. One after another after another, sure. No kidding. That's balancing. Best of everything, indeed.

Chain se maza lo...

Ana: What happened?
Clado: Am bored.
Ana: You don't look bored.
Clado: Am bored. And listless. And anxious.
Ana: How about some music?
Clado: What!?
Ana: Some music? And some mouth-freshner!?
Clado: Ana! Don't pakao me okay.
Ana: Alright, hear me out... Chaini chaini, chain se maza lo!
Clado: You picked that up! You know what? I hate this name. I hate pan masalas. But, once heard, this just doesn't stop ringing in my head. Stop it, stop it, stop it!
Ana: Clado Clado, chain se maza lo!

Aegon Religare couldn't enough care :)

Interesting article in the TOI Crest last weekend. Reminds me of a recommendation we made to Aegon Religare Insurance a couple of years back. We offered something similar but seems our pitch was marred by the manner in which we tried to reach out... Happens. Here's the presentation. You might find it interesting.

Aegon religare brand activation 9th nov '09

View more presentations from Siddharth Soni

Ignitor or Imposter

Clado: Ana, Ana, Ana....  
Clado is huff-puffing his way.
Clado: Ana...
Ana: Listening, Cladooooo!
Clado: Unbelievable! They've turned imposters now. Just found an evidence.
Ana: Whom are you talking about? And what evidence?
Clado: Remember, we rode the Honda Stunner?
Ana: Ya, I do. Naaaaaaice bike.
Clado: Now there's an Ignitor on the road. The same thing! Replica of Stunner!
Ana: Clado, they are better called twins.
Winks.
Clado: Ya, lost-at-birth kind of twins. The other one only shows up later in the movie, right?
Ana: Smaaart!

Impulse is silky smooth

Clado: Ana, am disgusted!
Ana: What happened?
Clado: The Hero Impulse...
Ana: You didn't like it?
Clado: They call it Transroader - on-road, off-road bike. Gaaawd! Disgusting!
Ana: Will you tell me what happened?
Clado: The bike looks like it would shoot off the block as soon as you sit on it. Instead, it runs like Honda Unicorn. Silk and smooth.
Ana: O' com' on, impulses also need to be graceful. Clado, I like the stickers in fact. And I really don't mind waving a silk scarf riding smoothly on this bike... Any bike, rather!
Clado: That's the problem, Ana, that's the problem.

Pizza ki delivery

Ana: PHD?
Clado: Yeah!
Ana: Ooooooo PIZZA HUT DELIVERY it is!
Clado: Ana, tell me, would you like PHD or Khushiyon Ki Home Delivery?
Ana: The thing is, I didn't know PHD was a short form. I mean, short form for Pizza Hut Delivery.
Clado: Now that you know it...

zeus FITNESS POINT - the gym

Ana: Clado, see that Christmas Week offer?
Clado: Seems every occasion offers a chance to offer. Are they offering a Christmas tree free? Check no...
Ana: Okay wait...

Ana: And what's this zeus?
Clado: Greek Goddess, perhaps?
Ana: Fitness Point, the gym?!
Clado: Yes. Word meanings!
Ana: So again, why zeus? Is it for women?
Clado: I see no women there. No men either.
Ana: Seems they worship zeus...
Clado: They are pantheists, actually.

New Yamaha Gladiator

Did I surprise you? Probably :)

Alright, Yamaha has discontinued Gladiator. So, is it good or bad? Depends on how Yamaha views the situation.

Here's a perspective. 

Gladiator has been around for quite some time. Few years, to say the least. Biking fraternity knows Gladiator. Why? May be coz of marketing, may be coz of blogs, may be coz of the fact that it comes from Yamaha. There could many more reasons.

Looking at it from purely a business point of view, the brand Gladiator seems to be present in prospects' minds, even if not favorably. In today's world, marketing is unarguably the biggest challenge and perhaps the biggest cost. I am asking, can Yamaha leverage this brand 'awareness' equity?

Of course! Few reasons to my claim and a couple of solutions.

The brand name GLADIATOR is very good. People can have views on the 'degree' of goodness but they can't deny that it can be a good motorcycle brand name. Coming from Yamaha, the name GLADIATOR has the potential to carry forward all the attributes attached to the brand Yamaha in India. You agree?

So, the name's taken care of. The awareness of the name is also taken care of. Now what?

Try imagining a 300cc kind of cruiser with the name Gladiator. Try imagining a naked 250cc (or even a 150cc with a good big tank :)) with the name Gladiator and coming from Yamaha.

To my mind, the second offering might fit better. Importantly what it could do is save Yamaha the hard part of marketing coz the name is already there in people's minds. It will also match the actual product with the already established name and therefore, find it easy to get people to accept the bike.

The thing is if a Hero Honda Hunk (I don't deny it's a decent bike) could sell here, a 250cc naked Gladiator would rock. Besides, aren't Gladiators often imagined naked, if we go by the Hollywood movies :)!

XXX? Sorry, wrong size!

Pic courtesy: imagesfood.com

When I heard the name XXX energy drink, the first thing that struck was, "This would come in a bigger can." Why? Of course, the connotation of XXX.

I get to know that it means Xperience Xtreme Xcitement. Well, not bad. But it doesn't do justice to a great concept hidden in the name XXX. Besides, right below the name it says IMMUNITY ENHANCER.

I guess an amazing concept like XXX has been wasted here.

Who will remember Xperience Xtreme Xcitement? Tough.

Who will remember IMMUNITY ENHANCER? For remember, who will understand the term? Sure, people understand IMMUNITY and ENHANCER as words, but what do they mean in a layperson. Besides, aren't there medicinal supplements which do this job? Chyavanprash does the same job!

To my mind the concepts of ENERGY DRINK and IMMUNITY ENHANCER aren't the same. Perhaps tending towards incredulity.

It's easy to play around in intellectual sounding and good looking words. But the idea to capture one (or a couple at best) important word and tie it with an amazing visual.

Here's my take:

XXX should be offered in bigger cans. The big can would also stand out on the shelves and serve an effective symbol of recognition.

And chuck those words. Just write something to the effect XXX - BIG BIG BIG ON ENERGY.

Mahindra Two Wheelers will it be called?!?!?!

The news is it will be called Mahindra Two Wheelers. Strange.

Mahindra has been always associated with rugged utility vehicles. For years, it has been known for geeps in India. Though it owns the Scorpio brand Mahindra is still more about utility.

Having bought Kinetic's two-wheeler business, is it a good idea to call it Mahindra Two Wheelers? Not really.

Firstly, Kinetic made scooters which were far from utility scooters. They were largely meant for women until the launch of Blaze.

Secondly, Kinetic didn't know how to focus on the market that it helped create, so it simply launched new brands without any sense of direction.

Thirdly, Mahindra had an amazing opportunity to create a new brand and create greater buzz in the market.

In the automobile business it seems that corporate brand (name of the company) matters at least as much as the individual brand. Would you say I ride a Mahindra Blaze? Or a Mahindra Nova? Not only does it sound unfamiliar, it also sounds weird.

Naming must be a consequence of strategy. Not just a matter of labeling or showing off the largeness of the company. Being a late comer, Mahindra needed to first work out the strategy to gain a foothold in two-wheeler market and then decide upon a name.

Instead it has publicized Mahindra Two Wheelers and branded the Kinetic Two Wheelers website with the same. Everything else remains the same. Pity! What was the hurry?

It could be that, even after Mahindra Two Wheelers, the game might not change much anyway. If a new name wasn't acceptable then even keeping it Kinetic could've worked.

Mahindra has risked diluting whatever the brand has stood for over the years.

Indica Vista shouldn't & doesn't CHANGE EVERYTHING

The commercials say CHANGES EVERYTHING. How come? The car's called Indica Vista. Firstly, the name is the same apart from the addition of Vista. The design is inspired (in fact, is an improvement of) by the original Indica design. And it still offers the same thing that Indica offered: Space.

What's the need to CHANGE EVERYTHING? Perhaps the folks at Tata do not want to keep Indica attached to taxis. Perhaps they are not happy with the perception of Indica as it stands now - that of a spacious but inexpensive small car. But the ironically they are using the same name: Indica (perhaps to leverage the name). So how does it CHANGE EVERYTHING? At least not the perception of brand Indica.

But, what if it does? What if the consumers do come to believe CHANGES EVERYTHING? Yes, of course the price has gone up. The design has become better but then perhaps it's not really that great when compared to other brands in the segment. The argument can go on. But what Tata might end up losing the strong positioning of MORE CAR PER CAR. Yes, that's what Indica is. That's what sold Indica in spite of all the problems.

On Indian roads, size of the car really matters. Small cars won't lose favour for a long long time to come. But with that the requirement for adequate space is also not going to go away. MORE CAR PER CAR is what made Indica, is what gave Tata a foothold in the India car market. Invaluable and lasting position!

Tata had better not change anything. Simply make the same thing better.

Delhi 6 - a case of loss of focus

Many movie reviewers have pointed it out correctly - Rakeysh Omprakash Mehra's heart is at the right place but there's a lot more to be desired. By 'more' I think they are talking about execution quality perhaps.

I would say the movie needed a little less. It needed:

1. fewer eccentric characters
2. fewer types of music
3. fewer visual themes
   
4. fewer social issues
   
5. fewer narrative themes / metaphors
   

Though the movie was breathtaking in individual bits and parts, though all the actors did justice to their characters, though the settings were amazing, there was a lot to contend with for the audience and therefore, while every issue was relevant, the impact wasn't as forceful as one would expect.

The movie felt like a collage of great visuals, good music and good performances. But that's what spoilt it for Delhi-6. The task of weaving them seamlessly wasn't a simple one; they were brought together eventually in quite a style but not with the required intensity.

The movie would have been far better made had there been a simple focus on the Abhishek-Sonam relationship with a backdrop of Hindu-Muslim tensions and mediated by the incident/metaphor of Kaala Bandar. The distracting visuals, music, characters would have automatically fallen in place.

Rare is a case where almost all the parts are perfect but the whole is less than perfect. Such is the perfection of each part that each one of it should ideally stand on its own and be converted into a separate movie.

Think about it. Does not each of the issues highlighted deserve a movie in itself? If that's the case, why complicate matters by mixing it all up in just one movie.

Photo courtesy: www.planetbollywood.com